I’m sure most all of us dog-child owners consider our dogs, just that, children. So, I can’t be the only one that gets totally offended when a guest comes to my house or approaches one of my furkids and says something a little crazy.
I’ve compiled a list of my favorite crazy things people like to say.
1. He’s just a dog.
NO! He is not. He is my furry adopted child. Don’t ever say that again.
2. OMG! There is dog hair all over your house. Do you ever clean this place?!
Yes. Yes, I do. I’ve actually been through three vacuum cleaners this year. I’m currently trying out the $400 Dyson Animal… You can see how well it’s working.
3. You told me that there may be a LITTLE dog hair in the backseat of your car. This is not a little.
Hey? Why make mountains out of mole hills? I say toe- MAY-toe you say toe-MAH-toe.
4. Why don’t you just get rid of one. They have to cost you a fortune.
Why don’t you just get rid of one of your children? Perhaps the one with freckles? I hear he still isn’t potty trained.
NO! I’m not getting rid of my children.
5. Can’t you just leave your dog at home for the night? It’s not like he’ll know the difference.
Yes. He will. He knows EXACTLY what time it is, and he will know if I am more than 5 minutes late. I need to get home NOW.
6. I can’t believe you let your dogs on your furniture.
Where?! I don’t see a dog. I see a furry child with a long nose.
7. Did you really just buy your dog his own ice cream?
Yes I did. The people at Dairy Queen loved him and gave him a cheeseburger to go with it. You’re just jealous your children aren’t as cute as he is.
8. You really need to get rid of your pets so that way you can take college more seriously.
If I got rid of my dogs I would have so much money and time on my hands I’m not sure what I’d do… I’d probably go buy another dog.
9. Please don’t tell me you let your dog in bed with you.
Ok. I won’t.
10. Did you really just invite me to your dogs birthday party?
Yes I did and you had better be there. He only eats grain free and prefers toys with no stuffing. Please don’t bring your children. I don’t want them to take away from his experience. (By the way- Malakai turned 2 April 18! Yes, he had a party.)
I can’t be the only crazy dog lady that thinks these things when people bring them up. What’s your favorite anti-dog child saying you hear all too often?